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Attracted to each other but ever so tentative. I fought it at first, but then we kissed. It felt good and one thing led to another. One Saturday we ended up in my bed and my fucking mother caught us. All hell broke loose and they made us break up.”“That’s shitty.”“It damaged me. While I am over her in a relationship sense, I will never get over the shame I feel for letting my fucking parents force me to break up with Phoebe. She deserved better from me.”“Don’t beat yourself up too much. You were eighteen. I had an easy run with my parents, but many don’t. Don’t let it scar you for life.”“I know you are right, but I still tear up sometimes when I think of her.”She holds me, empathetically. But I know what I need, to discover more about her. “Hey, can we go back to the studio? I so want to see your art.”***************The paintings are in racks and Andie tells me about themes. Landscape and light. Reality, imagination, and the surreal. And her latest, the nude, mostly charcoal drawings. I played baseball at a college and had to have an annual exam. There was a 20 second period when my gown was pulled down by the female doctor and I was standing nude in front of her and the nurse who was holding a clipboard and the form the doctor would eventually sign. I caught the nurse eyeing me up and down taking in my full view. I had always a fear of being viewed in this kind of way because I thought of myself as not large, and here was a young doctor in her early 30s, and a nurse just a few years older than me, both of them checking me out in the nude. So the exam ended and I left. But I realized after leaving the exam room that though my form was signed I forgot to get a signature on the vision card, a separate paper. The lady let me back into the hallway and I walked to the exam room but they were gone, and I realized they had moved from the exam room to the doctor's office. The door was partially opened and I overheard them speaking and the nurse said to the doctor, "I can't.
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